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SMWmap

A map of the Great Valley

"The Great Valley: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."

~Obi-Wan Kenobi


The Great Valley is the main location of almost all of Jitt's abominations masterpeices. It has been a haven for criminals, terrorists, and malcontents for millions of years. To this day, there has been no central government or unifying authority in the Great Valley nor can nobody recall a time that there ever was one. Sometime after it had been colonized by the longneck and threehorn clans, the Great Valley saw an increase rise of insanity among its inhabitants and has been well-chronologized by maniacs scholoarly historians like the infamous honorable JitteryDragon. Because of the extensive length in which all these events occur, over a dozen cartoons documentary films have been relentlessly graciously handed down to the public in order to drive everyone mad for the purposes of higher education.

Political Relations with Hyrule[]

The Great Valley and the Kingdom of Hyrule seem to be one in the same (sometimes). Most of the Inhabitants refer to Hyrule's King, King Harkanian the 9001st, as "The King". The presence of a King is odd considering the Great Valley is an anarchic state whose inhabitants tend to lean towards Socialism.

A World of Chaos[]

Mordor2

One does not simply walk into the Great Valley...

The Great Valley has seen more than its fair share of apocolyptic tragedies in its time. First, there was the Spanish Inquisition, which nobody expected whatsoever. Sometime after that, a lot of planes came out of nowhere and started blowing up everything in sight, leading to a communications disruption due to invasion. Then Spike drank the entire supply of water in the Great Valley causing a draught. Next was the heavy bombardment of metorites in which everyone was horribly killed. Oh, and a snowstorm caused by the mighty God Pterano, freezing everyone and everything. Basically, a lot of bad shit happens in the Great Valley.

Problems With Plantlife[]

Deep excursions into the Great Valley have lead to the discovery of a wide variety of hallucinogenic and analgesic plants. This eventually lead to the invention of pills. Side effects of eating food from the Great Valley have lead to a widespread increases in impaired brain functionality throughout many of the Great Valley's inhabitants. This caused a rise in the national death rate and extinction seemed inevitable. It wasn't until the discovery of 1 UP mushrooms gowing throughout the Great Valley's caves that the death rate decreased by a whopping 1%. Any other decreases are merely due to factors caused by not being dead after death has occured. On rare occaisions, Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam will grow in very temperate regions of the Great Valley. Efforts to harvest this rare plant have often lead to death via bizarre gardening accidents.

Stunted Growth[]

It has long been noted that many of the children throughout the Great Valley have not grown up, despite having over twenty years and over a dozen sequels to boast. This is generally theorized to have been caused by some kind of viral strain released sometime between the second and third sequel films, effecting the cycle of life in general. So, while all the children remain as young simpletons, none of the elderly dinosaurs in the Great Valley will ever die of old age. This is not to say that they have become completely immune to death in general.

Residents[]

Mountains[]

Blackrock

AAAGGHHH!!!!!!!!!

The mountains surrounding the Great Valley are alive, apparently. Often they remain dormant for pro-longed periods of time, but they will often spring to life if irritated by outside influences like falling rocks. Even small some small stones have also shown themselves to be sentient, often screaming in terror when shoved to and fro by the dinosaurs.

The Mountain Is Pissed

OH FUCK...

Food[]

  • Green leaves
  • KenDucky FriedChicken
  • Toast
  • Burritos
  • Pills
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